My husband is definitely "king of the hill", but in our castle, I am the Queen!!  When it comes to choosing furniture or decorating the castle, I remind him who spends the most time living with "our" decisions.  Most of the time, I would redecorate while he was out of town.  He never knew what he would come home to, but he knew better than to complain.  As for the peasants (children), they knew who was in charge.  We would be a bunch of slackers while dad was away and just before he came home, we would clean the castle and he would believe we had attended to our duties while he was away.   I'm much more laid back than the King and it drives him crazy sometimes, but he loves me anyway!!   I love him, too!!  and that's what makes our castle a great place to be.